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10.18.2010

Fashionable Dating Advice

What Do You Think?: 
So ever since I suggested cologne for men, I've been getting a lot of emails from guys saying 'thanks'. Now that I know the guys are reading my fashion blog (love it), I decided to continue to help you out. Here are some dating rules I would love to share because...wow... you guys have NO CLUE, and I haven't been wowed for a minute now. Ladies, you need to read these rules too (and stick to them) because I feel a lot of my problems come from the fact that you are allowing these guys to move along with zero skills.

Ready? Here we go...
1) Learn to dial the keys on your phone and CALL.
Whats up with the text conversations? It shows that you lack wit, confidence and conversation when you have text conversations that span the length of days.
So what can you do to get out of your tech rut? Try to write down topics throughout the week that would be OF INTEREST to the girl you like. This may seem a bit weird, but it works and it cuts down all awkwardness. If one topic doesn't hit off a great conversation, move on to the next. Women love to talk, but most women would like a more dominant man with leadership skills so learn to lead a conversation (in person or on the phone). So ladies, if he fails to call stop responding to the text. What will that lead to....sexting?
2) Ask For The Date
Don't just throw things in the air that you would like to do and expect her to jump on board. Formally ask her on a date. If she says no, move on.
3) Have a plan and know what you want.
All dates should have an overall plan. That doesn't mean that you don't allow for spontaneity, it just means that you came with a guide and a goal to the date. Most dates have two different settings ('dinner and a movie', 'drinks and dancing') so try to come up to two main events to your date. Playing it safe is 'dinner and a movie'.
So what can you do to plan a great date? First, be sure to call her and get a vibe for what she likes. (And not by checking hr facebook) The date should be one part her one part you. This way you get to show her what you like and enjoy something she prefers. So if she likes to be active and adventurous something like indoor rock climbing. The key is to share your plan with her before the date begins. That way she can figure out her outfit...seriously.
And pick things that you really like to do and you would continue to do with her. Don't try to show that you like different foods and experiences when you don't. Be true to yourself so that you're not wasting time in pretend land.
4) Be a gentleman.
If you don't put her on a pedestal, she will not be willing to get down with you. Come to the door, bring flowers, open all doors, walk on the proper side of the street, give her eye contact, close the date by setting up your follow-up, and walk her to the door at the end of the date. Sounds silly to list these things right?...wrong! These are instant deal breakers. I'm not telling you to pull out every chair and place her napkin on her lap... I'm just telling you guys to do the basics. They are not hard.
5) Be Yourself and Know What You Want
Most people get over their fear of rejection by pretending to be someone else. So if that character fails, they think they are still safe. But what happens when the girl falls for the character and you're stuck playing pretend for a year? Look, you save tons of time by just being yourself and not worrying about whether or not she likes you. If you pick a part of the date she will like and a part you like, you both will ultimately have a great time.
If you want to settle down, don't waste a 33 year old woman's time who wants marriage. If you want a serious relationship, date someone who knows what they want.
6) Get Rid of Rules
If we had a good time why would you wait 3 days to call? Who says we can only go out once a week on a Saturday night? It seems so stupid and you look like a loser doing it. So really. Stop.

Fellas- no matter if your looking to just have a good time, settle down or lay down... follow these rules. But up front about what your looking for out of the date on your phone call on step one.
Ladies- if they do not meet your standards, ditch them. I typically have a two date rule. I allow for the first date jitters and I expect them. I usually will let them know what I didn't like (because I don't want to continually go through the same unpleasant experiences). So when I go out a second time I'm looking for a more relaxed time and I'm also looking to see if they can take direction. So on the second date I pretty much know if they line up with what I want. This way you are not wasting your time or their money. And ladies, stick to having expectations. Because when you don't... they seem to come to me confused that I have set standards.

Hope this is helpful for us all.
xo
MosaMuse

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